Scribbles

one day you wake up and notice you are a wander in a crowded street A half dead half alive freak The spark has been long gone As if it never existed You avoid the mirror at all costs Cause all you see is swollen body Stains of hair escapes through The arches of your fingers And your tissue is stained in blood You don’t look anything like you used to be Not even close to the kid in school Hunger strikes all of a sudden But you just had food ? Maybe you are cold or maybe You are running from the parts of yourself You pass by the window Swollen beaten up inside Lunar eclipse around the curved edges of your eyes For once in life you felt seen When a kind lady said “ Are you stressed ? “ You wish you could tell her But you smile in awe and say I’m ok ma’am thank you ~ you wish you had someone like that In the back of your head you grieve Nothing was ever enough You have up on taking care of you You gave up on the child that dreamed of being free A beautiful little angel Who spoke to trees A little magician who whispered stories From every painting she saw You gave up on her at the strike of midnight You reach for your phone But “ you’re so needy “ it’s always in the jokes Maybe you are what they say Because you were seen not heard Clothed not sheltered You say you’re in love You are happy with yours But sometimes just sometimes You ask yourself Is it all a show ? Was any of it real ? Cause oneday I was a lovebird And another day a lonely bastard Twenty three years later It all makes sense You’re not hormonal You were a child You still are Maybe someday when you are gone The fabrics in your casket may glitter As the roses flushes in purple hues Just like the good old days You day dreamed of being a little princess In a ball gown You’ll have your gown your little crown Your precious little scribes and everything you loved